


nothing ever becomes real (until it is experience).

by flustraaa



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Criminal Minds RPF
Genre: (lowkey tho), Alternate Ending, Angst and Fluff, BAMF Spencer Reid, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e15 Revelations, Gen, High Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Spencer Reid, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Protective Derek Morgan, Sad Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid Angst, Spencer Reid Fluff, Spencer Reid Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24640456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: “i can’t believe i missed it,” Hotch breathes, “he looked right at the camera whenever he said anything that could’ve—““it‘s not your fault.”“no,” he agrees, sighing, “but we could’ve saved him.”
Relationships: Spencer Reid & Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid & Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid & Penleope Garcia, Spencer Reid & The BAU Team
Comments: 7
Kudos: 698





	nothing ever becomes real (until it is experience).

By the end of the night, Morgan has hurled his fist through the plaster of the wall three separate times and everyone is sitting around hopelessly. 

The news rings through the silence, and their hearts collectively stop beating. 

“Authorities arrived on scene at Marshall Parish today to the sound of a gunshot by the old cemetery. The story is still developing, but there is one confirmed dead,” The reporter says, face grim, “a local farmer—“ 

Everyone jumps when a remote goes through through the screen, and Hotch storms out of the room at once. 

“Hotch—“ Emily calls after him, the team all rising to follow him, “You couldn’t have—“

“ _Narcissism_ ,” he laughs mirthlessly, holding a bible in his hands. “He misquoted the bible, he was telling us where he was and it went right over our heads. He’s dead because _I didn’t understand_ what he was telling us.” 

“Hotch, you don’t know that,” Penelope murmurs, swallowing hard as she looks at everyone. They just stare at her with a heart broken expressions, “Hotch, you don’t _know_ that.” 

“Call the local hospitals,” Gideon commands at once, “Morgan, Prentiss, Hotch, and I are going search the roads.” 

“What do I do?” JJ breathes, eyes welling with tears, “I can’t do nothing.” 

“Help Garcia make the calls,” he calls, already halfway out the door. 

They share a single look of understanding, and immediately get to work. 

“This is _hopeless_ ,” Morgan growls, “that kid was tortured and beaten, there no way he can walk.” 

“There’s always hope,” Hotch reassures, probably more for himself than Morgan. “Reid won’t go down without a fight. Just keep your eyes open.” 

“For what? A hobbled shell of the kid?” Morgan rolls his eyes before they catch a glimmer of something on the side of the road, “Hotch, what about a red and white truck?”

“ _What_?” He blurts dumbly, turning just as they pass the truck. 

Morgan’s fumbling with his seat belt, yelling, “stop! _stop_ the car!” 

Hotch’s foot hits the break, and if Morgan wasn’t already mostly out the door, Hotch is positive he would’ve gone through the windshield. 

He pulls the SUV off to the side of the road, running to where Morgan pulls the car door open. 

“Kid? Kid! Hey, look at me!” Morgan breathes, pressing two fingers against Reid’s pulse, sending a look to Hotch that clearly reads, ‘get help and get it fast.’ 

Hotch nods, pressing down the three keys with uncharacteristically shaky hands, “This is agent Hotchner with the BAU. We found Doctor Reid, we need assistance on highway 382, four miles north of Fort Bend.” 

“Reid, come on kid. I watched you die and come back, stay with me,” Spencer’s eyes flutter open, almost immediately rolling back and returning to a close— if Morgan had blinked he would’ve missed it. “We love you too much for you to leave. _I_ love you too much. Come on, you’re so close. Eyes on me.” 

Spencer’s emits a weakened guttural groan, coughing slightly as he lulls his head to the side, eyebrows crinkling. “Come on, twenty five is too young. Stay awake for your mom.” 

Spencer’s eyes open again, just barely. Morgan watches as he tries to push out a work, but it only comes out in rattling and choked off wheezes. 

In the distance, Morgan can hear the ambulance growing closer and he rests a hand against Spencer’s shoulder, “Come on, Kid. Do you hear that? You’ll be okay, just keep looking at me.” 

The whites of Spencer’s eyes make a reappearance, and Morgan’s heart drops. Before he can register what’s happening, Hotch is pulling him back and out of the way. 

They watch, all movements halting as the the paramedics break through the bindings on Spencer wrist. The kid for his part just moves limply, not unlike that of a rag doll. 

Morgan can’t breathe, and he’s almost certain Hotch feels the same way. Hotch is still holding his shoulder from where he’d pulled Derek back, frozen. 

They load Spencer onto the ambulance, and Hotch pushes Morgan towards it, promising to meet him at the the hospital in thirty. 

  
The time between the highway and the hospital is a blur. Spencer has another seizure, resulting in him dying once again. 

Morgan watches as they cut his shirt off and position the AED. The kids ribcage is already turning a murky black and blue colour from his broken ribs. 

“Clear,” The paramedic says, and Morgan watches helplessly as Spencer’s shoulders jolt slightly with the shock— if he imagines it, he can pretend like the kid was just sighing. 

She continues CPR after and the kid still isn’t breathing, and Morgan feels like this is the end. The kid will never know how much they care about him or how hard they looked for him. The monotone voice runs diagnostics, giving a second shock— and still, nothing. 

It gets harder to pretend after the second one. What’s left of the kid’s heartbeat can only go on for so long, and it feels like death is sitting right beside Morgan. 

She repeats her actions, pressing down again and again at a constant tempo and Morgan can see the sweat beading her forehead. It runs the diagnostics once more, and Morgan prays to God that the third time is the charm. 

“Clear!” The next few moments occur in slow motion, Spencer sucks in a gasp, dissolving into a few coughs before he groans again. 

“He’s stable,” he can’t tell if she’s saying it to the driver or him, but either way Morgan realises breathing is a little less difficult. 

She inserts a needle, looking up at Morgan as she takes it out, putting it in the biohazard bin to the side of her, “He’s going to be down for the count as soon as that sedative kicks in. He’ll be okay though.” 

She wraps up the AED, setting it under her seat as she presses a hand to Spencer’s shoulder, “You’re gonna be fine, Kid.” 

Spencer’s eyes flit to her woozily, before slipping shut. 

“Strong Kid,” She comments after a moment, eyes watching as Morgan pushes the sweat soaked strands of hair from Spencer’s eyes. “I’ve never seen someone bounce back after a second shock.” 

“Yeah,” Morgan sighs, pressing his hands against his face, “He is.” 

When Reid wakes up, he’s surrounded by sleeping agents. He lets out a sigh of relief, letting his eyes close as he thanks whatever helped him get to where he is. 

“Hey Reid,” Hotch’s voice is full of sleep, and Reid lulls his head to the left to find both Hotch and Morgan staring at him, “I’m sorry we didn’t get there in time.” 

“You found me, eventually,” Reid croaks, wincing at the pain feom— well, everywhere.  
  
He closes his eyes and the other agents wonder if he’s slipped off until he licks his lips, managing to hoarsely ask, “Did I die?”

“Twice,” Morgan responds, “Once in that shed, and once in the ambulance. I thought we lost you.”

“ _Oh_ ,” he blurts dumbly, “that sucks.”

Morgan and Hotch short at the comment, unsure of what else to do.

Spencer’s hands come to rest over his heart, and if he focuses he can identify the pain as a third degree burn, “AED?”

“Yeah,” Hotch responds simply.

“Technically, I only died once. The other time I was in cardiac arrest. I was having ventricularfibrillations— my heart was beating too fast and too weakly.”

“You’re going to correct me now, Kid?”

But they can fight their grins when Spencer just sends them a smirk, still high on whatever sedative they put him under with.

“You know I’m going to tell everyone you said you love me, right?” Hotch barks out a surprised laugh as Morgan’s eyes narrow.

“You _wouldn’t_.”

Spencer’s eyes zero in on Emily, who’s blinking at him sleepily, not fully gasping the situation, “on the way here Morgan told me he loved me! I’m the baddest bitch around!”

“Is he...” she trails off, watching as he grins at her.

“Oh, yeah,” Morgan grumbles, “ _hopelessly_ high.”

“Right,” she chuckles, “Hey, Reid. Watch my finger.”

She moves her finger back and forth, Reid’s eyes tracing the movement before slowly slipping shut.

“How’d you learn that one?” Hotch asks, expression bewildered.

“You remember that one time I drove jack home from daycare when you and Haley both had the flu?” She asks, waiting for confirmation before continuing, “I realised that he was watching those mobile toys that hang off his car seat bounce around and it put him right out.” 

“Kid, if you weren’t conked out right now I’d be roasting you about how you’re not the only genius anymore,” Morgan says, eyes still trained on Emily. 

She just bows, before settling back into her chair, joining Reid once again in the world of the napping. 

  
  


The second time Reid wakes up, he’s mostly normal again.

“How do you feel Boy Wonder?” Penelope questions, holding out a juice box and jello.

He doesn’t miss a beat, “Like I died and was given too much CPR.”

“That’s oddly _specific_ ,” she teases, raising a brow.

“Well,” he mumbles, ripping the top off of the plastic cup, “I think I’m pretty qualified to know.”

“Hey,” she coos, and the sudden softness of her voice makes Reid’s eyed jump to her, mouth full of jello, “You know we love you right?”

“I know,” Reid whispers, not quite ready to express how he feels about them— if he acknowledges it, he’s scared they’ll leave, “Morgan told me when I was dying the second time.”

Morgan’s voice echos from the doorframe, “Seriously, Kid? Stop that, people are going to think I have emotions!”

The amused snort (and immediate wince) from Reid are the only affirmation that they need.


End file.
